The weight on my shoulders

analogicus - pixabay

 

The weight of the world

The weight of the moment

The weight of influence

 

Question: Weight? Answer: (Here’s where I lie)

 

Heaviness,

Pressure,

Load,

Burden;

Consequence,

Prominence,

Value;

Power,

Ascendancy,

Favor;

Impressiveness,

Gravity,

Importance,

Influence,

Vigor.

 

Ever since I got married, I’ve been worried about weight, my weight, my baby’s weight, my husband’s weight … I’ve gone on lots of diets and lifestyle changes with varied results.

After The Change I have not had good results with any kind of diet as far as weight is concerned. After years of this frustration I have made a decision.

I’m not going to focus on weight.

According to the general opinion of the doctoring community, I am overweight. Because of that my main focus is to eat less and move more. But the most important thing to me now is health. According to the general opinion of the doctoring community, I am in good health.

So, instead of driving myself crazy and listening to all the voices of the past in my head (and on social media), I live my life preparing for the rest of my life.

If I am to be this weight, then I need to be strong to carry it. Therefore, I lift, thereby building muscle and bone.

If my goal is to be of service to the people around me, I need to be able to move and be useful. Therefore I walk, stretch, and challenge myself physically each day. I walk now so I can walk 20 years from now. I eat food that agrees with me, that doesn't make me sluggish, that gives me energy.

God, thank You for this physical body You have blessed me with. Lead me to care for it as I should. Warn me when I chose unwisely. Lead me to the people You want me to help. In Jesus.

 

Thank you, Five Minute Friday, for the opportunity to share my thoughts.

Blessings to my readers.

 

_RHTM_

I was undecided

ArtTower - pixabay

I realized for the fifth time that I stink at freelancing. 

Harsh, I know.

Maybe it's self-doubt, but I don't think so.

Maybe it's fear of success, but I'm sure that's not it.

Maybe it is a lack of discipline in my life, but I believe my track record speaks for itself.

At some point I might try freelancing again, but I'm undecided.

Then, again, here I am - freelancing. I write what I want when I want to whom I want about what I want. I don't charge anything for this blog and that suits me just fine. Sometimes I don't even charge for the books I write. I love giving things that I create away. It brings me joy. And that joy and happiness and satisfaction is worth so much more than the Amazon price of $16.99. 

So, I guess, I do freelance. I just don't do it in the way other people do. 

I've taken all the online classes, talked to all the important and successful people, run with the wolves and played with the big boys. All that is just not me. 

Maybe I have leanings toward putting myself out there, but it is not sustainable. Not to me. I have so many other things I want to do.

Like write.

Like getting another job (which I just did, thank You, God!) and learning new skills. 

Like creating new artwork out of paint, fiber, textiles, words, wood, stone, clay. 

Like spending time helping my family clear houses, collect stories, take photos, build things, make memories, share experiences.

Like keeping promises I made years ago to dear ones, to myself, to God.

So, the conclusion is, I have decided that my whole life has been freelancing - just not in the way some people might think. 

The image of the knight on the dappled war horse with a strong, sharp lance ready to go to battle, ready to work at the King's command, traveling on errands that only He and I know about, showing up in unexpected places and unexpected times - 

That's me.

_RHTM_