Phasing Out ...

 

It’s just a phase he’s going through.

Phase it in. Give the public a chance to get used to it.

We are in the final phase of the project.

This is my favorite phase.

 

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My daughters are going through familiar phases in their lives … and asking me for advice. This has caused me to pause as I relive in my mind the situations I have been in. For a few situations, I can give advice that worked for me, but most of the time, looking back, it probably wasn’t the best idea and maybe I shouldn’t use what I did to survive as advice to my daughter. In other situations, I know for a fact what I did was a bad idea and I tell them that. Some advice I could give is literally not possible anymore – very strange, the world we live in now.

And then there are the things they are going through that I have never had to go through, so I pray. And I tell them I am praying. And I’m honest with them and say, “I have no idea what you should do.”

But this is a good thing. A very good thing. Because the next thing I tell them is probably the best advice I could give about anything – Go to God. Read the Bible. Ask for his wisdom. Spend lots of time praying, in fact, be praying all the time, like a constant conversation in your head to God. Then, don’t forget to pause and wait for God to speak. And be patient.

So, as I go through this phase of my life, with adult children dealing with adult situations, I thank God for the things He allowed in my life that threw me into His arms.

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” – James 1:5

 

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It’s probably good timing to let you know about my book of devotions and thoughts I wrote after a particularly difficult phase of my life. Amazon will let you read some of it for free, so there’s no risk or hard sell here. I’m a terrible salesperson! LOL

Before Coffee God, by Rachel H T Mendell

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Which Route

 

“What route should be take?” said my husband looking at the new road atlas.

“That’s up to you,” I said. “You’re driving.”

At that moment I realized my husband and I had just played out a scenario enacted by my parents over and over, years ago. Except my mom frequently chose the route. She was navigator in the family.

Several times I tried to be navigator but with seven children to be on-call for, it was more efficient to be the stewardess. Sometimes one of the older children sat in the front passenger seat of the station wagon or nine passenger van or SUV or suburban and acted as navigator. It soon became a teaching tool.

A million miles of trip travel, a thousand destinations, a hundred scary situations … yet we continue to travel, choosing the same route for comfort or choosing a new route for adventure or being given an alternate route because of the Orange Cone Prophesy.

I have gathered stories:

-          The Breakdown in Beloit

-          Stuck in a Dry Wash While Looking for Petroglyphs

-          When the Truck Expired (parts 1,2, and 3)

-          Engine on Fire

-          Waiting It Out Under the Highway 35 Bridge

-          The Ice Road Outside Indianapolis

-          Slippery, Slippery Road

-          So Hot

-          Cramming 10 People in a Nova

-          Dust Storm over Texas

-          Will We Make It

-          High Winds

-          What a Lovely Park

-          The Guy Who Couldn’t Stop Talking

-          Let’s Go Home

-          And many, many more

Stay tuned, I’m sure I’ll remember more … like the one about being stuck behind a herd of sheep …

 

See more at FMF

But God

 

OUTCOME

The outcome was all good.

The outcome was better than expected.

No one could have predicted the outcome.

It was a list of inputs and outcomes.

-

The outcome was better than I expected, but that’s probably because I always prepare for the worst and am overjoyed by the best.

Our mom had big debt, and we worried about paying it off as she aged. But God allowed her neighborhood to flourish and grow in value. Once her house sold, debts were paid with even some left over. I did not think that was possible.

Given the struggles our marriage has gone through and the trouble our children have had over the years, I would not have imagined this present outcome of our pleasant home, our growing successful family, and our solid marriage. God is so good.

As we struggled with bills 30 years ago, I had almost given up hope of us realizing our dream of having a small place out in the country. But here we are and the steps we followed to get here are pure God – no one would have predicted the outcome. In fact, the predictions were quite the opposite.

When the bad times came during our homeschooling years, I questioned our decision to sacrifice certain things to educate our children at home. But the outcomes have been way beyond amazing. We are so blessed.

I will be forever thankful that God holds the outcome.

 

“The horse is prepared for the day of battle,

But the victory belongs to the Lord.”

-          Proverbs 21:31

“For nothing will be impossible with God.”

-          Luke 1:37

 

FMF

In the middle of pivoting

 

Pivot, turning point, swivel point, axel, hinge, pin, hub, heart

To pivot on its axis

Pivot the drill to keep the screw going in straight

The moment was a pivotal point in my life

Pivot on your toes (like a ballerina), face the basket, shoot from your hips

 

It was a pivotal moment -

The birth of my first baby and the first day with her

The death of my father

The death of my best friend

The explosion within my marriage (don’t worry, God healed, we’re still married)

Attending my son’s graduation from Marine Boot Camp

The completion of my first novel (as yet unpublished)

The publication of my first book (non-fiction)

The first days of a new job

And the events of the past few months, all crammed together to create a huge pivot, which is still pivoting … I think

It’s difficult to perceive a pivot in time when I am in the middle of it. But I know that is what is happening now. Mom’s death, a trip by car to Arizona, finding out things I didn’t know about my childhood/mom/dad/past, saying good-bye to my childhood home for the last time, a last minute trip to Wisconsin and my youngest daughter moving back in for a while, my husband retiring, me quitting my job because my husband asked me to (it’s alright, I was ready to leave anyway)

All in four months

… I’m totally in the middle of pivoting … still moving in a new direction … still waiting for the movement to stop so I can catch my breath …still sorting through all my stash of possessions and giving away things to make room for other things … still writing impressions and emotions and discoveries and mourning losses and celebrating freedoms and finding a space for daily pondering with God.  

Spending time in The Word is a pin, an anchor, to hold me in place during all this movement. So is writing ...

FMF - Go see what others are saying about "pivot" ...

P.S. ... could you give me a like and a follow so I don't lose you and you don't lose me? Thank you. 

Today's Vibe is ...

 By VIBE, I feel like I need to say what society is going through, but that's from my high school days, when we used to ask people we meet, "What's the vibe?" (How are things going today, physically, emotionally, situationally, etc.) ... or "I don't like the vibe in this room" (a feeling of tenseness or anger). 

Well, this week I have been contemplating Juneteenth and all the emotions and opinions surrounding it in my area. Mostly people around here don't like it because, 1. It's a new national holiday, so no mail, no bank, etc. and 2. It doesn't pertain to them much. 

But I disagree. I'm glad we finally have a holiday that commemorates the ending of the American Civil War and the ending of legal slavery. 

What a horrible time that was in our history, so much hatred, so much strife, so much death, so much destruction. I hate to say it was worth it, but a lot of good came out of it.

And we should celebrate the good.

So, my five minutes of thought on VIBE is how I choose to use today. I will do my responsibilities in gratefulness. I will work toward freedom in all its forms for myself and for those around me. I will celebrate the unity we have in our country in all its forms and strive to live in unity with all those around me, especially my family. 

And I will work toward peace in my heart, in my home, in my family, and in my community. 

That's more than enough work for any human being. 

Today's VIBE is positive!

Five Minute Friday is the place to be today. Go check it out.

Just a part

(truck piston)

the way I part my hair

the way I'm a part of the whole in this peaceful place of healing

the part where you tell me something and ask for my opinion and I give you my opinion and you accept it, but you don't necessarily agree, and that's okay

my part in the problem - to be recognized and fixed if possible

I am a part of the landscape, walking around with a grocery cart, choosing what I want to consume, what I am willing to pay for, what I will take responsibility for ...

I sit at my desk which is a central part of this room, which is a small portion of this house, which sits on the property we bought years ago, which is a portion of 175 acres of farmland, which is part of Morrow County, which is an unimportant, but still growing portion of the state of Ohio, which is a part of the United States of America, which is an uneasy brother of the countries of the world, which is a tiny rock in the universe God created years ago to move in harmony by the power of His Might.

And this is just a part of the vast amount of thoughts swirling in my brain.

Five Minute Friday - the place to be today!

Blessings!

What a Deal!

 

A few weeks ago, our mom's house was sold. This was a huge relief to my brother and sister-in-law who have tried to help our parents care for that 1930s home for years. 

It needed lots of upgrades and remodeling, but even so, given the neighborhood, the buyers really got a deal. 

I lived in that house for eight years or more, but with all the moving we did as a family I wasn't really attached to it. My husband and I drove down in March and helped do some clearing out. We gave lots and lots of things away. I'm sure the local thrift store made it possible for buyers to get lots of great deals. 

I don't feel taken or gypped in anyway. The entire episode was a blessing.

And I can't wait to see what they do with the house. 

Stay tuned.

This post is part of a Five Minute Friday routine. Check it out! 

Five Minute Friday

Does this really matter?

NoName_13 - pixabay

What does it matter?

Does that really matter to you?

Mind over matter.

All mind and no matter.

Everything is made up of matter.

You matter.

Matter equals importance.

Writing matters.

Reading matters.

Having skills to adult matters.

Working matters.

Serving matters.

Giving matters.

Speaking truth matters.

Jesus matters.

Jesus matters the most. But all the other things also matter because it is these things that God uses to bring us to Jesus.

The man I married mattered because he knew Jesus so we could raise our children knowing Jesus and the way we raised our children mattered because they continued in following Jesus and are now raising their children to know Jesus and follow Him.

The people I have encouraged, and been a small part of bringing to faith in Jesus, came into contact with me because of the work I did, or my interests, or where I was, or who we knew in common, or something they needed me for, or a myriad of other possibilities that God uses to bring people together to enact His will.

When I used to do assessments for home educators (part of Ohio laws) I told them, “Everything matters. Everything counts.” If they went to the park, it became an opportunity to discover new bugs (science), take a walk (physical education), clean up (environmental science), or get hurt and fix the hurt (first aid/health). Education should be practical.

By viewing our life like everything matters, we walk carefully, watching those we meet, taking a breath before we decide, thinking before we speak (even if it means we don’t get to speak).

God uses our lives to work His will. That’s one of the amazing things about God.

Does it matter? Yes, it does.

 

_RHTM_

 

 

The Best Preserves

Nodrog1960 - pixabay

 

Food doesn’t last very long, so I try to preserve it. I have tried drying, freezing, canning and cultures. I’ve had good years and bad years. Recently, some of my cans have been expiring sooner than expected. Maybe it’s due to changes in temperature in the pantry, maybe it’s a mistake I made, maybe they’ve just reached the end of their goodness. It’s disheartening to have to throw out hard work, but, you know, better safe than sorry.

This year I decided it was best to freeze or refrigerate leftovers and skip the canning. I have also begun a tighter use cycle, and scheduling meals around a shorter expiration period. This has also led me to make smaller meals and check the freezers more often.

More work, less disappointments.

I’ve realized that no matter how hard I work at preserving food for the future, it will all eventually spoil.

Just like the earth I walk on.

I am thankful God doesn’t have the same problems. He doesn’t have to check batches to make sure they are still good. He doesn’t have to throw out mistakes. He isn’t disappointed in the results of His work.

Everything He has done is perfect. Everything He is doing is exquisite. Everything He will do will last forever.

He will preserve my soul for heaven. Praise God!

 

 

“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.” – I Thessalonians 5:23-24

_RHTM_

Youth is not wasted

 

I believe the memories of what I have done in my youth give me encouragement for what I can do in my old age.

Physically, things get more difficult. I need more time to recuperate from a long day of work. But I can still work. I can still walk. I can still serve.

I have more determination now than in my youth. I work smarter, not harder. I know way more short cuts that bring about the same desired results. I pay more attention to details. I move slower, but more efficiently. In fact, I probably get more accomplished now than when I was in my 20s.

Mentally, I find I must limit my time with social media, television, and other media. Entertainment is faster, flashier, more rude, more crude, more disrespectful of everything, and more intense. It creates conflicting emotions, stress, and chaos in my brain. So much confusion!

But reading now is faster, recollection is more accurate, understanding is deeper. Puzzles seem easier because I have more patience. Painting, crocheting, drawing, writing, all seem more enjoyable because the shadow of competition is gone.

Emotionally, I am much more stable, more dependable, more accepting of others’ faults, more compassionate, and a little wiser in the ways of people. I don’t fall for manipulation, intimidation, or domination like I used to.

Spiritually, I spend more time in God’s Word. I spend less time being a seeker in other ways of spirituality. I study the masters (Luther, Tozer, Lewis, Henry, favorite preachers, etc.), but spend more time with The Master.

I pray more because I have more to pray about, more people to pray for.

I still stink at memorizing, always have, but the passages I need in conversation or writing come to mind. If I am searching the Scriptures, I can find what I am seeking much faster because I know where it might be.

I crammed a lot of life into my youth, made lots of mistakes, and fixed some of them. Now I take my time and do the jobs God gives me.

And service is much more enjoyable. Thank You, Jesus!

 

“Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.” – Psalms 103:5

 

_RHTM_

 

The History of Me

Cool unique auto in the Home Depot parking lot

 

 

World History

American History

The History of Language

 

Medical history

Family history

Work history

 

The History of Airplanes

The History of the Crows

The History of Fashion

 

My personal history is a tiny speck of dust within the history of the towns I lived in and the places I visited and the homes I slept in and the National Parks I walked in and the people I met or talked to or walked past or lived with or heard speak on the radio or in a pod cast or the professors and teachers who taught me or the preachers who saw me in their pews or the neighbors that observed me coming and going.

My health history is linked to my doctors and nurses, my children and husband, my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents.

My work history is bound to the places I labored and the people who labored with me and the bosses I was accountable to and the people who worked for me and my family and all the bill collectors, grocery stores, theaters, amusement parks, online stores, electric companies, mortgage companies that got their money because I worked.

The history of me is unlike any history of anyone else that ever existed on the face of the planet. There might be similarities or coincidences in some small way, a passing by for a day or a month or a year or two, but unique.

So when I write my history, I am writing something completely unique.

People will read it, not because it is so different, but because we are the same.

We share the same history individually in unique ways.

 

And that is the miracle of this crazy earth history that God created.

_RHTM_

Read more histories at Five Minute Friday!

A New Usually

 

Usually I get up early, like 5 or 6, make coffee and spend a little time with my hubby before he goes to work, read my Bible and pray, feed the cats, feed the fish, feed the sourdough starter, feed the plants, feed anything that needs feeding.

Usually I try to go for a walk every day. I want to continue to walk for as long as the Lord gives me days, so I practice.

Usually I hear from one of my children each day by text, sometimes on Facebook or Instagram.

Usually in August I have met with several homeschooling families and written reports for them, shared new goals, and cheered for all the work they’ve done during the year.

Usually I have a schedule of work and play, leaving and staying, writing and editing, laughing and crying, living in emotions and remaining stoic.

Usually I make a list for myself and cross off each thing as I do it.

These things give me joy, a sense of accomplishment, a purpose, a reason to wake in the morning.

But a lot has changed. Now I’m crafting a new usually. It’s harder than I thought.

 

_RHTM_

 

When my Usually changes I go back to writing as a base. Here’s a book I wrote a long time ago for my fellow homeschoolers and their children. One classroom teacher I know still uses it. Maybe it could help you. Love to Write Everyday was tested and edited by about 75 educators and the published book is the result of all those edits. Yes, I sent out a lot of free thank-you copies!

LoveToWrite

Books

F

pxel_photographer

 

Defeat

Failure

Unfinished

Weak

Wrong

Incomplete

F

Lose

I ran away from these words. Fear of failure is a familiar emotion to me. If defeated I would quit, run away, disappear. There was no coming back from failure. There was no finishing the unfinished. An “incomplete” on any school paper would send me into shock. That wasn’t supposed to happen to me. Getting any grade less than a B was wrong, inexcusable, shameful.

Because I was convinced I was smart, and smarter than anyone else. If there was someone who was smarter or more gifted than I was, I felt it necessary to hate them.

Such a ridiculous way to exist. I loved my classmates, my friends. Why would I feel this way?

There was a mysterious training I received when I was young that defeat was inexcusable, shameful, impossible. To lose was not an option.

I don’t know why I was this way. I’m still unraveling my past. Perhaps it was because I was “a good girl” and “talented” and “pretty” and “smart” and “a straight A student.” It was said so much to me it became my identity.

Fortunately, God led me through many difficult times, places where I would be defeated, situations where I would fail, jobs given to me that would remain incomplete. He knew this huge lie that dominated my life was keeping me from serving Him.

I escaped, but in many instances, I was forced to stay, made to fix my mistakes, left alone to mend the broken bridges.

Maturing.

Soon I learned to love finishing projects. The feeling of completion was a better success than all the awards in the universe.

I still struggle with the lie of “failure is inexcusable.” But God has led me to see it’s not about me anyway, it’s about serving Him with what He has given me.

 

These thoughts are unfinished, and probably will be until I meet Him face to face.

 

“And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 

_RHTM_

 

 

Making a Scene

 

Make a Scene

Scenes are so important in writing. Each scene must have a beginning, middle, and end. Each scene must belong to a bigger part of the whole and progress the plot (novel, short story, play, opera, movie, TV show).

Making a scene takes a lot of work. You can write it out quickly in the first draft, but then it’s time to scrutinize its value. Do I need this scene, or did I just write it because the paper was blank, and I needed words? Do I need this scene, or did I just blow off steam? Does this scene create an important part of the whole? If I take it out, will “something” be missing?

Some scenes are placed specifically to wake up the audience. Some scenes are there to create bonds between characters. Some progress the plot by showing us motivation and backstory. Some seem completely out of touch with the rest of the whole until the very end, when some word or gesture reminds us of the scene and brings an entirely new meaning to the story. 

I am in a scene in my life story. It doesn’t make sense to me. Why am I here? Why is this happening? What does this have to do with the rest of my life or someone else’s life or my tiny piece of the world’s history?

Then I remember this is God’s story. He wrote it many years ago before any of us were born. He knows how it turns out. This scene is cloudy to me, but an important part of the whole: the whole of my life, the whole of my children’s lives, the whole of my community’s story, the whole of the story that is the ongoing body of Christ.

That’s why it’s so important to get outside of myself and let God lead me where He needs me. That’s why, when I feel lost, I sit down and write where I am right now…

Here I am, sitting at my laptop. Today one of my children will be visiting us, so I cleaned house. Today I have ___ friends who have asked for prayer. Today I need to shop for the needs of my household. Today I don’t need to bake because there is plenty left over from yesterday. Today I work on the big projects God has given me, ___, ___, and ___. Today I praise God for providing what I need, for giving me jobs to do, for giving me people to take care of, for salvation and a hope, for the opportunity to talk to strangers and pass along a tiny piece of Jesus.

Today is just a tiny, but important scene, in God’s plan.

 

_RHTM_

 

 

 

All that I have to tolerate

pexels - pixabay

I am a highly sensitive person. I have always known that, but it took reading about in psychology articles to realize that it’s really a thing.

Because of that I have to tolerate things most people don’t seem to mind:

Noise

Chatter

Bright lights

Arguments

Fighting

Intense movies

Loud music

Constant motor sounds

Screens

Repetitive percussive sounds

Interruptions

Conflict

Any change in plans

 

Add to that the things I have to tolerate because my personality bends toward INFJ:

Lying

Fibbing

Personal Drama

Large gatherings

Noisy animals

Boasting/Preening/Pretending you are someone you are not

Ignoring of facts

Performing (without benefit of a stage)

 

I realize this is negative, but the only way I have been able to tolerate the things that bother me (and many times they bother me deeply) is God.

God has given me strength to raise children, discipline, teach in the classroom, give workshops, be a reporter for the newspaper, be an editor for the newspaper, organize and attend book signings, head clubs and gatherings, have lots of people over for a graduation or birthday party, be a cashier, attend family reunions, weddings, funerals …

God is amazing. No matter what our weaknesses are, He is there to help us through whatever needs to be done.

Thank you, God.

“And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

 

Read more thoughts on the word Tolerate.

 

Then take a minute to check out my novel, The Porch.

 

_RHTM_

 

 

To rewind or not to rewind

inspiredimages-pixabay

“Be Kind. Rewind.” – Blockbuster Video

 

Sometimes it’s good to think about other’s feelings and back up a bit for them to either catch up or to stay with them where they are.

But rewinding always means replaying will follow.

And replaying is sometimes not a good thing. Replaying a hurt someone gave you. Replaying an accident when it’s probably time to move on. Replaying a tragedy because you feel the need to feel the feelings over and over.

God tells us to remember the former things, the things He has done for us, the ways He has protected us, the bad things He has brought us through.

God also tells us to keep moving forward, keeping our eyes on Jesus, keeping the hope of heaven alive in our hearts and minds, following Him to the next job He has for us.

 

The balance is the challenge. God give us wisdom to know when to move on and when to pause and consider.

 

And my five minutes are up even though there’s so much more to say!

Join me with other writers sharing thoughts about live, God, and things at Five Minute Friday.

1.      Write a post

2.      Share it to your blog

3.      Or share it on Facebook

4.      Link your blog post to the FMF page

5.      Relax and read other writers’ thoughts on the same subject.

6.      Smile and know you got some writing done today AND you have proof!

 

_RHTM_

 

 

Make it work

 

Alexas_Fotos - Pixabay

What do you make of this Watson?

Make your own breakfast.

Don't worry. We'll make more!

What are you going to make? … an elephant? … wonderful!

We make our own luck. We move our own mountains.

Make a face.

Don’t make a mess.

Make something pretty.

We make our way in the world.

He will make everything turn out, you’ll see.

He will make a way.

He will make rivers in the wilderness.

He will make all things new.

_RHTM_

I have a choice

floragrauso-pixabay

I have a choice

to stay in bed, or to get up

to work or to rest

to write or to read

to move or to be a couch-potato

to visit or not to visit

to believe that God works all things for my good or to believe God is out to get me

to do housework or let it pile up for the next day

to cook supper or get take-out

to mow or let the weeds grow and worry about the consequences later

to speak or keep my mouth shut

 

Most of the choices I make are based on consequences.

I pay my bills because I know what it’s like to get way behind and have things taken away.

I mow the grass because it’s difficult to walk in tall weeds, lots of bugs and sticky seeds, and I like to take long walks.

I keep my home tidy because a messy house gives me the feeling of frustration (and that voice of my mom telling me to clean my room).

I go shopping because I hate running out of the basics.

I do errands because I hate letting things go undone and piling up and causing me anxiety.

 

I read the Bible, pray, and study because if I don’t the darkness moves in, and my peace disappears.

I read books because I like to discuss them with friends.

 

I write because otherwise my brain is jumbled. Writing calms me. Writing is a place I put everything that I want to say but shouldn’t say out loud. Writing organizes my opinions and helps me see, in black and white, what I really think. Writing is like breathing.

Writing is life.

 

_RHTM_

 

Thanks, Kate, for all your encouragement. Five Minute Friday is my happy place!

 

 

 

random cover

 

damesophie - pixabay

Cover me

Take cover

Stealing the covers

Under cover

Covered in medals

Book cover

Under cover of darkness

Covered in clover

 

“For behold, darkness will cover the earth And deep darkness the peoples; But the LORD will rise upon you And His glory will appear upon you.” – Isaiah 60:2

 

“When the word reached the king of Nineveh, he arose from his throne, laid aside his robe from him, covered himself with sackcloth and sat on the ashes.” – Jonah 3:6

 

“Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

 

_RHTM_

 

 

Now, put it in reverse.

 

thanks to rporras - pixabay

Dad needed Mom to drive the car with the camper trailer attached. She was unsure about it, but he said she would do fine. My brother and I stood some distance away until the small maneuvering project was finished. The plan was to move on to a new place to camp.

Dad was calling instructions out to Mom who had the window open and seemed to be trying to figure the thing out by herself. My memory of the event is dim. I think my dad wanted her to know how to drive the car with the camper attached “just in case.”

Dad called out to stop. My mom got out of the car and slammed the door shut walking away. Once again I witnessed the all too familiar scene: Mom was upset and angry, Dad was trying to make her feel better and apologizing.

I don’t remember the words, but I remember the black cloud that hung over the family the entire day.

Mom had jack-knifed the car into the trailer because she moved too fast to react. Instead of fixing it she just gave up. Now there was a dent in the camper and, as she said, the trip was completely ruined, and we might as well go home.

Dad did his best to untangle the mess and later, at the new camping location, when it seemed safe to look, I took a peek at the dent. It was pretty small compared to the drama we had witnessed.

As usual, my brother and I played until dark, trying to forget the cloud over our heads, trying to pretend it was just a nice weekend of camping with our family.

My mom didn’t talk for the rest of the day.

This event is burned into my mind and emotions and only until recently have I realized how it effected my own married life.

My husband grew up working on his uncle’s farm and drove everything he was asked to drive, tractor, stick, with and without trailers, automatic, tiny Volkswagen, huge box truck.

I learned to drive two cars before we married, a Chevy Impala and my first car, a Chevy Nova two-door. I was proficient in heavy Phoenix traffic and reading maps, but anything other than a car was terrifying to me.

There was no reason for this since I had never been in an accident while driving.

When it was time for me to drive other vehicles my husband had purchased, I froze. Of course he couldn’t understand why. Doesn’t everyone drive everything?

When I realized my fears were irrational and I needed to learn this thing to help him, I set my mind to learning, taking instruction from my husband, and trusting I wouldn’t accidently hit anything important or hurt myself. It took years, but I finally got comfortable driving vans, trucks, and other things with motors. I even learned to push or tow one vehicle with another.

I am proud of these moments.

They prove God is good and can empower us to overcome irrational fears set in us since childhood.

They also prove there is nothing wrong with going in reverse. Just take your time, understand why you’re doing it, and learn from your mistakes.

 

“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:13-14

_RHTM_

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