Almost

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Most of my life has been spent in the Almost. 

It's Almost vacation.

We're Almost there.

It's Almost time to go.

Almost is a hopeful word. It means the waiting is just about over.

But there is still work to do because Almost is an intense space of time between Now and Then.

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Almost time for the books to arrive.

Then I can take them around to my libraries and pass them out to my friends and send them off to relatives and bring them in to the store that sells them for me.

~

The onions and potatoes are in the ground awaiting the hot sun to urge them to work.

Almost time for planting tomatoes and peppers.

dogwood

It's Almost time to get supper on ... I have to go ...

Announcement

Announcing my newest book of prayer meditations, Before Tea, God. These short meditations might challenge you to view your faith life in a slightly different way. Ponder one a day or several. Suggested Bible readings are included.

A little about the book - I began writing prayers as posts for my Facebook friends. I received comments saying the prayers encouraged them, challenged them, was exactly what they needed for that day. This is a double blessing. I decided to compile some of these prayers into a book for those who may have missed a few or for my friends who do not participate in social media. 

Special thanks to Ole Dog Coffee Culture for carrying my Before Coffee, God, and for all the wonderful encouragement to continue on with these projects. 

~

All my books are available on Amazon.com. My novel, The Porch, is also available at Barnes and Noble.

(Available in paperback and Kindle editions.)

_RHTM_

Lonely

 

 

I’ve been lonely all my life. I only recently discovered why.

I would hug the loneliness to myself and write and listen to music and sit outside and listen to birds and swim in the pool creating stories and imagining where I would end up after I grew up.

Emotionally

My emotions raged, and not just when I was going through the teens. My parents fought so it’s no wonder my brother and I played that out as we looked for treasure throughout the neighborhood. I was lonely for someone to play with who didn’t tell me I was weird. I was lonely.

Psychologically

I felt different from everyone. It seemed like they were all “them” and I was me, in a corner, happy, but not fitting in. I didn’t really like what they liked or talked about what they talked about. I didn’t even like to wear the same clothes (even though my mom forced me to).

In my 40s I took a test and found out I was an INFJ and that all the things I was experiencing were normal. I was normal. Lonely was normal.

Spiritually

I was raised to be extroverted and a leader. I was expected to do tremendous amounts of responsibilities and to excel. This led to sickness, headaches and anxiety. When I learned more about myself, I found that it was normal for extroverts to expect extroverted behavior from others. Once I embraced my introverted self and being who I really was I stopped being so angry, so judgmental, so In-Your-Face about everything. I began to relax and become comfortable with not living up to expectations, disappointing people, and following my own path.

And God was there showing me I felt lonely, not for other INFJs so much as lonely for My Home, the one the Father intended for me, the one Jesus is preparing for me. I was lonely for His rest.

I was lonely for other heaven bound creatures like me, others who found reading the Bible to be a daily adventure and supremely comforting, others who praised God in their pain and prayed for others and worked behind the scenes.

 

Thank You, God for the journey. Thank You for healing me. Thank You for giving me jobs that fit while being challenged to occasionally step out of my comfort zone.

 

Are you lonely? It’s okay.

In heaven that goes away.

 

If you like to write, join us at the Five Minute Friday family. You can post on Facebook, or you can post from your blog. You can even write with us and not share a single word.

 

_RHTM_

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Pretty soon I will be announcing the publication of my newest book of prayer meditations, Before Tea, God. 

 

 

Limit

 

stormplacess-pixabay

Is there no limit to what the enemy can throw at me?

There is a limit to what I can do.

But there is no limit to what God can do.

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” – Matthew 19:26

 

So I ask God to help me, but I’m not letting Him because I’m pacing around trying to figure out what fire to put out first.

I have so much stress built up in side my mind is not working – not even when I write things down – not even when I talk things out.

And my stress tightens my shoulders and my neck and I get a headache and I try to do something, anything, and I feel exhausted and I lie down to rest from doing nothing but worrying.

I try to relax. I pray. I breathe. I pray. I give everything to God again. I pray.

I fall asleep.

“He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’” – Psalms 46:10

 

I awake with one small job in my head. I thank God for His guidance and I do that one thing. Then the stress of my limitations, my possible future humiliation and shame, the mistakes from my past and my lack of self-discipline… and the cycle repeats.

I fall asleep.

I awake and the next job is in my mind, and I thank God, and I do the thing.

I feel relief.

And I breathe and realize that I am in the cycle.

So when the worry enters my mind I stop, I breathe, I pray, I find a place to sit, and I ask God for the next job.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

 

_RHTM_

Join us and celebrate Five Minute Fridays!

Complicate

 

My mind is a jumble of things to write about.

Children out on spring break.

Things that are complicated.

Things I complicate myself.

 

When Kate said she had a special guest blogger in her email and then mentioned her child was on break and she was spending time with them, my brain put 2 and 2 together and came up with my own 7 – I assumed she would share a bit of her child’s writing.

But my brain is in creation mode, having been fighting editing for weeks on two projects. In creation mode I frequently put 2 and 2 together and get all sorts of answers.

I want to create!

And I want to read what my children are writing too! (which is secondary creating for me).

I am blessed to have read many of the things my children have written. In fact, further blessings, I was in a position (editor of the local paper) to publish some of my children’s columns. This is a triple blessing to an editor because: 1. Hey, my kid writes too! 2. They write really well and are entertaining, well, I think so, 3. More copy for page 4, Yay!

Two of my children were especially motivated to write for the paper – and they even named their columns – Poor College Kid and (I can’t remember, to be filled in later).

 

It is important to keep the good memories alive about our children. Things get tough and I worry too much about things I have no control over instead of trusting God to take care of them just like He always has.

 

Thank you, Kate, for reminding me of the good memories I have – lots of good memories.

Praise God!

 

There’s more Five Minute Friday sharings here - and the Guest Post Kate promised – check them out!